Some Thoughts: Women in Clothes 

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a copy of Women in Clothes. I saw this book on a sale pile at National Bookstore. One of the reasons why I decided to buy it was because of its massive discount. I love getting good deals on books and magazines, and I always get excited whenever I see copies of i-D or Vogue at my nearby Book Sale.

Aside from its price, the real reason why I bought it was its premise. The book’s jacket said that it was a diverse collection of conversations, stories, and ideas about personal style and self-expression from women across different races, ages, and backgrounds. Some of the pieces I’ve read were a feature on a sweatshop worker, an interview on Lena Dunham, and even a conversation on power dressing. Visuals-wise, the book is packed with photographs and illustrations!

Learning about one’s personal style is very fascinating. For me, I see it as an extension of one’s personal journey.  More often than not, our personal style can influence the way we approach other aspects of our lives. As someone who lives with a lot of internal chaos, having a semblance of control through external means is a huge deal. I choose to exercise that control through my personal style and beauty routine.  It’s a small step in being in control of my own life, and getting my life together.

I’m happy that there are books such as this, because it’s not a how-to on fashion. Rather, it’s more of an in-depth look on how women develop their own personal style over time, as they go through the motions of life. In a time where women’s clothing are still policed or heavily judged by society, I honestly think that it’s important to live your truths in any way possible— even through the clothes that you wear.

Life Currently: Breaking Free from the Fixed Mindset and Negativity

In less than a week, I will be commemorating my 2-month anniversary at my current job. Needless to say, I am still very much in the process of adjusting and getting used to things at work. It’s usually been this way whenever change comes in; it’s always been difficult for me to adjust to change, and embrace growth.

I know it’s quite ironic to write about this, since I usually express my excitement and determination to grow as a writer (and as a human being). However, I still don’t feel the changes that I want to see in myself (and in the work that I’m doing). Maybe it’s because I’m holding myself back from growing too? I guess so. A huge part of me finds it difficult to move on from past hurts and move forward with life, and it’s getting in the way of my own growth and happiness.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I need to cut myself some slack and allow myself to enjoy and focus on the present so I can truly move forward from all of this. I can do this, and I will be okay.

 

Getting There

Hello there!

It’s been over two months since I last wrote here, and those two months off were mostly spent on real-life, actual adult things. January was dedicated to the job hunt, while last February was all about adjusting to my new job. Yes, you’ve read that right. I got a new job after nearly a year of stepping back from the workforce. It feels strange, but I am embracing it day by day, however a little slower than before. One of the key takeaways I had upon reentering the workforce was to manage my expectations. It’s such a loaded phrase, but for me, a huge part of managing my expectations meant not being too hard on myself, especially with my career and life goals.

These days, I am taking each experience at work one day at a time, and treating every day as an opportunity to grow and improve as a copywriter (and as a writer in general). My new job as a copywriter is also compelling me to learn more about the advertising industry, as well as to develop my thinking skills (which I sorely lack sometimes). Nevertheless, I feel immensely grateful for this opportunity, and the people who have been instrumental in it. I guess this is a sign that I am growing, and that I am starting to embrace my own pace in life.

With my new job now, you might be curious as to how I’m going to pursue writing now and in the near future. I am still very much passionate about writing, and that I don’t see myself quitting the craft. I will still write as much as I can, whether here in my blog, or for a publication. I just need to balance my time and energy, and find a schedule to work with so I can pursue these writing projects.

Anyway, I am hoping for the very best in this new beginning in my life. After the horrible events that transpired in 2016, the good things that happened (and are starting to happen) this year will continue to inspire me to become a better writer, citizen, and human being. Wishing you all the same, too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes from 2016

2016 has been a strange, unpleasant, and challenging year for many of us. There were lots of changes (expected and unexpected ones) that happened, as well as a lot of lessons to be learned. In 2016, the biggest lesson that I learned was that I needed to love myself…and almost everything else will follow. That piece of advice is so simple, yet it is so complex to unpack and implement in your life. I have three takeaways from this lesson that I will share, and how the importance of loving yourself comes to play with all that.

Continue reading “Notes from 2016”

TV Notes: Twenty Again

Side note: A NEW BLOG ENTRY! YAAASSSSSS. This entry on Twenty Again has spoilers, so be warned!

I have a confession: Twenty Again was the first Korean drama that I watched from start until finish.  For some strange reason, I never got around to watching Korean dramas. Earlier this year, I tried watching Descendants of the Sun, but never got to finish it. Who knew that a random visit to Choi Ji-woo’s Wikipedia page would change things? Blabber aside, allow me to share my thoughts about Twenty Again, and why it’s an endearing show to watch.

Twenty Again is the story of Ha No-ra (played by Choi Ji-woo), a 38-year old woman who enters college for the first time in almost 20 years. During those twenty years, she devoted her life to becoming a wife to her condescending, douchebag of a husband Kim Woo-chul and a mother to their son Kim Min-soo. As their son Min-soo is about to enter university, Woo-chul and No-ra decided to get a divorce. While going through divorce proceedings, No-ra secretly applies for university. As she finalizes her plan to go to university, she gets misdiagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer with a timeframe of 6 months to live. She uses the misdiagnosis as a wake-up call to experience life as a young adult while enrolled in college.

Continue reading “TV Notes: Twenty Again”

Notes from last night’s rally

Last night, I joined my first REAL rally.  As someone who begrudgingly admits that her activism is limited to the online space, participating in a protest for the very first time was exciting. It’s exciting because it’s an amazing opportunity to meet and learn from fellow activists and millennials about their plans to mobilize and engage young people to speak up about their causes. In this case, we were all fighting against the decision to have Ferdinand Marcos buried at the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani, as well as the fight for good governance and justice.

My first experience at a rally was not as pleasant as I would like to be. I got lost so many times, tripped and got injured, and cried out of hopelessness because I couldn’t find the People Power Monument. Despite the rough journey to get there, I was still grateful to have participated in it. I also met some upperclassmen from college too, who organized and helped out with the rally at PPM. The crowd was small last night, but I believe that even the tiniest voices can have the biggest impact. Rallyists chanting “Busina, busina para sa hustisya” and shouting “Never again to Martial Law” last night was so empowering to hear. It also brought me chills.

I am excited for the rally on Wednesday, and I am hoping that there will be more people who will come out and show up for a cause such as this. Marcos is not a hero and he will never, ever be. To my fellow millennials, don’t let others spoil your chances of speaking up against this horrible decision, and continue to fight for what is right.

Continue reading “Notes from last night’s rally”

Protest Fashion and Beauty, Anyone?

After the rise of the #TakeNoShit campaign online, a famous Internet troll decided to give a piece of um, unsolicited fashion and beauty tips while participating in rallies. In case you live under a rock, let me give you a brief background on this AWESOME campaign that unfortunately got some internet trolls #SHOOKT (which is very pathetic, by the way) and prompted them to spew out nonsensical advice.  The #TakeNoShit campaign was initiated by Ateneo de Manila University instructor Nathania Chua as a response to dehumanizing (and flat-out gago) comments by netizens towards protesters who spoke out against the decision to bury ex-president/dictator/demon spawn Ferdinand Marcos at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. This campaign aims to provide awareness on the real-life consequences of online harassment, and eventually compel people to take action against their harassers.

Yesterday, Ilda of Get Real Philippines shared a piece of advice for protesters that caused the ire of so many people, including myself. (You can really tell that it’s fucking terrible, right?)

ilda-whats-good

Want to know why? In a time where women still continue to fight for ownership and responsibility for their own bodies and lives, there are still other people who wrongfully dictate what should and shouldn’t be expected of a woman. Rape culture still very much exists in our society, and this kind of mindset presented by Ilda is perpetuating that rape or harassment victims should be blamed for their misfortunes and dismiss men’s violent sexual attitudes as a “boy thing.” In this case, Ilda insinuated the online harassment that these women received after the protests were a product of their own doing because they were wearing short shorts and on-fleek makeup, and that they should cover themselves up to prevent being harassed. As a response to her very infuriating tweet, I thought about how people should dress and look like during protests.  I was also inspired by Irish Dizon’s Facebook post on this too.

Here’s the golden rule for rally-appropriate fashion and beauty : WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, AND LOOK WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. If you dig sharply contoured cheekbones that will pierce the flawed logic of internet trolls, go! If you want to wear short shorts, a cropped top, or even a daster, just do it. One’s clothing or appearance should not be an issue for anyone who’s fighting for a cause that’s directed for the common good. As for the trolls and harassers, please take responsibility of your shitty behavior.

P.S.: I’m going to contour the crap out of my face and wear short shorts during the rally on the 30th because I’m a concerned citizen who likes to dress good and look good for herself. Those things are not mutually exclusive. Bye!

Life Update #10001

(Will be quite rambly, since this is a another stream-of-consciousness post)

It’s been a while since I updated here. The last thing I posted was my review on some of the Glossier products that I bought earlier in the month. Since then, I haven’t really posted anything. I have been doing a lot of real-life things, such as applying for jobs (and other opportunities), improving my carbonara recipe, and getting some writing done, which is actually pretty good.

However, on the flip side, I’ve been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Actually, I’ve been dealing with these thoughts and feelings since the start of the year, but it’s only been recently where I have actively confronted them head-on. This big balloon of negativity has weighed me down for so long, and has created some perceptions that continue to destroy my self-confidence and belief in myself, as well as my relationships with other people. Much more so, having these negative thoughts and feelings have steered me to a direction where I have contemplated on decisions that will put my life in potential danger. It was only during a recent near-death experience where I realized how important life is, and that life is unpredictable. That experience taught me how to take care of myself, even if times are hard.

Speaking of self-care,  I have to learn how to manage my time and resources better. At the same time, I also need some structure in my life, like setting up a daily schedule for attending to writing assignments, as well as other tasks and commitments. I’ll also set up a bullet journal too, to help me with this journey to healing. It’s going to take some practice, but I will get there. Spiritually, I also have to learn how to forgive myself in terms of dealing with fuck-ups from the past. I have to come to terms with them, and not reject it like some toy with factory defects. Mistakes, failures, and rejections are part of life, and over time, I am slowly opening up to seeing them as lessons or opportunities for growth.

To anyone who’s reading this, I will get better. I will get through this, no matter how difficult.

 

 

 

Glossy-Yay or Nay? A Glossier Mini-Haul and First Impressions

I’ve known about Glossier since 2014, but I think I only became a Glossier fangirl this year. The release of the brand’s Phase 2 set was the catalyst for it, when Glossier included makeup staples such as concealer and lipstick (I didn’t care about their skincare at that time). I dug deeper into the brand, by looking at their online campaigns and watching reviews on YouTube. Almost everything about Glossier’s ad campaigns just screamed “authentic, inclusive, and simple” which is a breath of fresh air from the traditional beauty campaigns that I see in print and online. Just check out this roundup of GRWMs below!

Recently, I decided to treat myself with some Glossier products. Although I originally wanted to try out their skincare (Milky Jelly Cleanser and Priming Moisturizer, anyone?), I decided to opt out of it because I didn’t want to disrupt my current skincare routine. I am at this point where my skin looks and feels really good, and having new products in my arsenal can be either a hit or miss.

Instead, I decided to buy the Balm Dotcom and the Generation G. The balm dotcom is described as a “universal skin salve,” which can be used for dry lips, cuticles, and minor cuts, while Generation G is advertised as a “sheer matte lipstick.” I got the balm dotcom in Coconut (thanks Mel of @glossiermnl!), while the shade I got in Generation G was Crush (which I got from MUP Store), which is a bright pink-berry shade that I would normally avoid.

Now, on to my thoughts about the products! The Coconut balm dotcom immediately became a favorite of mine. At first, people may think that the balm dotcom is a glorified version of petroleum jelly or Vaseline. I guess it’s because of the price (it retails around 12 USD, but I got mine for Php 750), but I’ve looked past that because it works really well and it feels really good. I have dry and dehydrated lips, and the balm dotcom was able to moisturize it. Not to mention, the coconut scent is clean and pleasant, which is a far cry from the coconut scents that I am used to. At 0.5fl oz, you only need the smallest amount to moisturize and hydrate the areas that need some extra TLC. And oh, the flavored balm dotcom’s packaging is beautiful.

On the other hand, I am a bit conflicted towards Generation G. The lipstick definitely lived up to its claim of being a sheer matte lipstick. It’s buildable and dries down to a matte stain, and it glides on like a balm when applied. It lasts long too. Color-wise, I really like the just-bitten pink berry stain that Crush leaves on the lips.  However, I do think that the amount of product you’re getting and the product’s packaging does not reflect its steep price. At 0.04 oz/1.13 g, you’re only getting a small amount of product, and its plastic packaging feels a bit fragile. Also, Generation G just comes in four shades, and I think that expanding the color range a bit would be a big help for many skin tones. If you are looking for alternatives to Generation G, just get Revlon’s matte/balm stains or use a lip stain and put a balm over top.

To wrap this up, I think that the products that I got from Glossier are very good. The balm dotcom definitely lived up to its hype. Generation G, on the other hand is also very good, but I just wished that it was developed better, in terms of pricing, product distribution, color selection, and packaging. I would recommend Glossier if you are a fan of low-maintenance makeup. If you are a big skincare fan, I think you should look into Glossier’s skincare range because I’ve heard good stuff about it. In fact, I am considering getting the Back to Reality trio soon, which includes the mint balm dotcom and the Mega Greens Galaxy Pack. Another thing to note though, if you are buying Glossier here in the Philippines is to find a reseller that gives you really good prices.

 

 

 

Not Now

Hello, crippling self-doubt.

We meet again. Why do we always bump into each other often? Last week, I was at a high because I went to the Philippine Readers and Writers Festival, inspired and motivated to write better. Then here you are again, telling me that I can’t write, or that my writing is comparable to a grade school student.

Is it because my writing is still not there yet? Or am I just too scared to go for it? Write, submit, share your soul to the world—it’s easier said than done. I have skeletons in my closet that I am still afraid to show, and I am afraid that I will be subject to the scrutiny of others. Years of bullying have made me quite self-conscious about myself, and the work that I have put out. It’s as if I’ve let this experience consume me, to the extent that I have to be ashamed of my entire being and mold myself into someone that’s more desirable for others.

I guess it’s the same thing with my writing. I just want to be able to express myself and just write whatever my heart desires, but there are people out there who will mock me and tell me that I can’t do it. On the flip side, there are others who will say otherwise. There are others who will believe in my writing and motivate me to go for it. There are people who will tell you, “You need to straighten your hair for boys to like you,” and there are people who will tell you that they love you for who you are, flaws and all. It runs parallel with one another.

Because of you, crippling self-doubt, I am more motivated to shake off the weight of the past. My bullies from grade school until now do not matter to my growth anymore. I am more motivated to get back into writing more than ever, and you do not need to bother me every single day to remind me that I can’t do things, especially things that I am dedicated to. I will keep on writing, and I have to remind myself that I am strong, beautiful, and capable.