I hate to admit this, but I actually think I am self-sabotaging. I am self-sabotaging, in a sense that I tend to be very stubborn and hardheaded about a lot of things. That stubbornness have made me disregard the advice and the words of the people who genuinely love and care for me, and not listen to them. Instead, I do a lot of things according to my own way, to the extent that everything goes wrong in the end. Even if I’ve been advised numerous times to seek help and guidance whenever I am unsure of things, I still keep on treading uncharted territory, hoping to find the answers and consequences of my actions. And as a consequence, I mess things up.
It’s highly selfish for me to constantly live a life that’s patterned on the idea of being alone all the time. There are people who care for me and root for me, and in turn, I should be more open to them as well. At the end of the day, I’m the one shutting myself out — and destroying myself in the process.