A Bunch of Random Facts About Me

I’ve been blogging for years, and while I have an “about me” page, I feel like I haven’t really introduced or shared something about myself in a random, almost unfiltered manner. Here are some facts about myself, from the really obvious ones, to the not-so obvious ones:

  1. I have spent most of my life as a South girl— I have lived in Paranaque since 2000.
  2. My MBTI personality type has changed for around four times already. When I was younger, I was an ENTP/ENFP, and now, I currently see myself as an INFP/INTP. This change in personality can be attributed to a bunch of not-so pleasant circumstances in my life over the past few years.
  3. I am on k-pop stan twitter (and I am very active there!).
  4. My alcohol tolerance is dependent on the amount of food I consume. If I eat too little or too much, my alcohol tolerance dips.
  5. Speaking of alcohol, I love vodka sprite and San Miguel Pale Pilsen.
  6. I am almost always in striped shirts! I have around ten in my closet. (Actually, I have lost count of them)
  7. I initially decided to pursue a career in advertising because of a random perk: I’m not obliged to wear corporate attire every day! Nowadays, I see advertising as a career that intersects my passions and needs.
  8. I have tried several roles and tasks (social media, copywriting, accounts, events) in my two-year career in advertising (well it’s three technically, but that’s for another story), but I always go back to writing. Among the forms of writing I’ve done for work though, I find social media copywriting and online content writing to be my specialties.
  9. I wore braces for three years, and retainers for another three (unfortunately, I lost my retainers in my freshman year of college).
  10.  I like to cut my own hair! It’s a fun (and weird) way for me to gauge my hair’s texture and versatility.
  11. When I was younger, I wanted to become a magazine editor. This dream is still something that I hold on to, even if I’m currently working in advertising. But then again, advertising opens you up to new experiences.
  12. I grew up quite sheltered. Growing up, I never got invited to sleepovers, and other normal teenager-y things. My dad was quite strict with me back in grade school and high school, so a huge chunk of my life revolved around school, a few friends, and at home. Not to mention, I only learned how to commute to longer distances during my freshman year in college. I think I only started to come out of my sheltered shell when I entered my current job. It’s still an ongoing process, and I would like to be more well-rounded and socially adept in life.
  13. I would like to think that my sense of humor is highly influenced by Twitter and Tumblr meme culture. I tend to speak in meme language whenever I tweet, lol.
  14.  I once had a phase in college where I did film photography. I miss it though. I used to post my film photos here!
  15. My ultimate bias groups are GOT7, Super Junior, and NCT. I usually talk about them on my fan account on Twitter, lol.
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Life Update: December 2017-March 2018

Hello there! Checking in with another blog post. I was supposed to publish a year-end reflection of sorts, but I think I am way too late to the game already. But to put 2017 in a nutshell, I would say that 2017 has been a little kinder to me than 2016. On the other hand, 2018 so far has been a mixed bag, but I would rather dwell on the more positive things rather than the missteps I encountered.

Now that the first quarter of 2018 is about to somewhat end, let me share some bits and pieces of the things that have happened over the last four months:

  • Last December, I went to Taiwan with my dad. We were supposed to go to Taiwan as a complete family, but my brother backed out at the last minute. A good chunk of our stay there consisted of trips to museums and cultural spots, while the rest was for walking, shopping, and navigating Taiwan (Taipei mostly). Also, did I mention that Taipei has a decent selection of K-pop merchandise? I was able to get a copy of Super Junior’s latest album, as well as a few magazines there. I want to go there again, and see the places that I haven’t been to—such as Jiufen!

Day 2: A visit to Taipei 101

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  • At the start of January, I got reassigned to our company’s digital department. After experiencing PR work, I discovered that I was more comfortable and adept in fulfilling my tasks and responsibilities related to digital. At the moment, I am focused on content development and setting up of Facebook ads. It seems easy, but there are challenges along the way. So far, I like what I am doing, and I feel grateful for this opportunity. The way I see it now, my current position is an intersection of all my work experiences, as well as my passion for writing. I am excited to continue to improve and grow in this field, and finally move forward from my trauma with my first digital-related job.
  • Last Valentine’s Day, I had a very random encounter with the Korean actor Ji Soo at Greenbelt 4. At that time, I just came from the ladies’ bathroom at Greenbelt 4, and then I saw a bunch of girls in a huddle outside of the Gucci boutique. I asked what’s happening, and they were like, “Si Ji Soo ba ‘yan? Yung sa Strong Woman?” (“Is that Ji Soo, from Strong Woman Do Bong Soon?”). Unsurprisingly, I ended up fangirling with them and we were right that Ji Soo was indeed right before our very eyes at that Gucci boutique.
  • When it comes to cultural consumption, I was able to watch three movies– Lady Bird, Call Me By Your Name, and Black Panther. I really liked all three– CMBYN was gripping, Lady Bird was relatable, and Black Panther was exciting and groundbreaking.
  • I also went to Art Fair Philippines last week. I’ve been going there since 2015, and it continues to be bigger and more exciting every time I go there. While I initially had gripes with its steep entrance fee, visiting each exhibit was worth it. My favorites were Everyday Impunity (which was done in collaboration with Erwin Romulo), the photography exhibits (Neal Oshima and Weegee’s in particular), and Yeo Kaa’s “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry.”

A hearty laugh / Weegee

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  • K-pop favorites? I have been listening to a lot of NCT lately. I’m having a bit of a NCT phase at the moment, just like how I did with Super Junior last December/early January. But so far, I’ve been enjoying NCT, Super Junior, SHINee, and GOT7’s music. I’m excited for GOT7 and NCT’s comebacks this week!

There you go! Those are just some of the life updates I have shared over the past four months. I still have a whole year ahead, which also means that I still have the whole year to pick up my pace as a writer again. Apologies for the very rushed entry. I just needed to get some things out of my head.

Notes: Money, Adulting, and More

I broke my phone’s LCD screen yesterday. I was walking on the way to SM Makati, until I dropped my phone near National Bookstore. My phone suffered a pretty massive fall, even if I had a tempered glass coating installed on it. When I went to a phone repair shop to get my tempered glass replaced, I learned that my phone screen broke with it too. Desperate and afraid, I immediately asked if I can have my phone repaired. Things did not go too well at that shop, so I moved to another store to get it fixed for a more reasonable price.

 

Luckily, I found a place that offered phone repairs for a decent price. I got my LCD fixed for around 2.5K, which was way cheaper than the price that my dad paid for when he had my phone fixed for the first time. Despite getting a good deal, I felt so stupid for being clumsy and distracted when it comes to handling things. I could’ve used the money that I spent for fixing my phone for other things.

 

This incident made me realize three important things. First, I am incredibly lucky to have a job that I love and that lets me earn in the process. Returning to the workforce reminded me that I must not take things for granted this time. Second, I need to be more careful. I’m very clumsy when it comes to handling valuables, and I need to be more mindful in taking care of them. Lastly, I need to be wiser with my money. I’m such a horrible spender, and I need to learn how to budget my salary, according to my needs (load, food, transportation, household contributions). I should get a budgeting app to track my expenses or something.

 

Now that I’ve unpacked all these realizations, what’s next for me? I’m going to embrace better habits. I will track and budget my expenses, take care of my things, and embrace the grind of work. It’s hard, but I know I’ll master it.

Life Currently: Breaking Free from the Fixed Mindset and Negativity

In less than a week, I will be commemorating my 2-month anniversary at my current job. Needless to say, I am still very much in the process of adjusting and getting used to things at work. It’s usually been this way whenever change comes in; it’s always been difficult for me to adjust to change, and embrace growth.

I know it’s quite ironic to write about this, since I usually express my excitement and determination to grow as a writer (and as a human being). However, I still don’t feel the changes that I want to see in myself (and in the work that I’m doing). Maybe it’s because I’m holding myself back from growing too? I guess so. A huge part of me finds it difficult to move on from past hurts and move forward with life, and it’s getting in the way of my own growth and happiness.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I need to cut myself some slack and allow myself to enjoy and focus on the present so I can truly move forward from all of this. I can do this, and I will be okay.

 

Notes from 2016

2016 has been a strange, unpleasant, and challenging year for many of us. There were lots of changes (expected and unexpected ones) that happened, as well as a lot of lessons to be learned. In 2016, the biggest lesson that I learned was that I needed to love myself…and almost everything else will follow. That piece of advice is so simple, yet it is so complex to unpack and implement in your life. I have three takeaways from this lesson that I will share, and how the importance of loving yourself comes to play with all that.

Continue reading “Notes from 2016”

TV Notes: Twenty Again

Side note: A NEW BLOG ENTRY! YAAASSSSSS. This entry on Twenty Again has spoilers, so be warned!

I have a confession: Twenty Again was the first Korean drama that I watched from start until finish.  For some strange reason, I never got around to watching Korean dramas. Earlier this year, I tried watching Descendants of the Sun, but never got to finish it. Who knew that a random visit to Choi Ji-woo’s Wikipedia page would change things? Blabber aside, allow me to share my thoughts about Twenty Again, and why it’s an endearing show to watch.

Twenty Again is the story of Ha No-ra (played by Choi Ji-woo), a 38-year old woman who enters college for the first time in almost 20 years. During those twenty years, she devoted her life to becoming a wife to her condescending, douchebag of a husband Kim Woo-chul and a mother to their son Kim Min-soo. As their son Min-soo is about to enter university, Woo-chul and No-ra decided to get a divorce. While going through divorce proceedings, No-ra secretly applies for university. As she finalizes her plan to go to university, she gets misdiagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer with a timeframe of 6 months to live. She uses the misdiagnosis as a wake-up call to experience life as a young adult while enrolled in college.

Continue reading “TV Notes: Twenty Again”

Protest Fashion and Beauty, Anyone?

After the rise of the #TakeNoShit campaign online, a famous Internet troll decided to give a piece of um, unsolicited fashion and beauty tips while participating in rallies. In case you live under a rock, let me give you a brief background on this AWESOME campaign that unfortunately got some internet trolls #SHOOKT (which is very pathetic, by the way) and prompted them to spew out nonsensical advice.  The #TakeNoShit campaign was initiated by Ateneo de Manila University instructor Nathania Chua as a response to dehumanizing (and flat-out gago) comments by netizens towards protesters who spoke out against the decision to bury ex-president/dictator/demon spawn Ferdinand Marcos at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. This campaign aims to provide awareness on the real-life consequences of online harassment, and eventually compel people to take action against their harassers.

Yesterday, Ilda of Get Real Philippines shared a piece of advice for protesters that caused the ire of so many people, including myself. (You can really tell that it’s fucking terrible, right?)

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Want to know why? In a time where women still continue to fight for ownership and responsibility for their own bodies and lives, there are still other people who wrongfully dictate what should and shouldn’t be expected of a woman. Rape culture still very much exists in our society, and this kind of mindset presented by Ilda is perpetuating that rape or harassment victims should be blamed for their misfortunes and dismiss men’s violent sexual attitudes as a “boy thing.” In this case, Ilda insinuated the online harassment that these women received after the protests were a product of their own doing because they were wearing short shorts and on-fleek makeup, and that they should cover themselves up to prevent being harassed. As a response to her very infuriating tweet, I thought about how people should dress and look like during protests.  I was also inspired by Irish Dizon’s Facebook post on this too.

Here’s the golden rule for rally-appropriate fashion and beauty : WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, AND LOOK WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. If you dig sharply contoured cheekbones that will pierce the flawed logic of internet trolls, go! If you want to wear short shorts, a cropped top, or even a daster, just do it. One’s clothing or appearance should not be an issue for anyone who’s fighting for a cause that’s directed for the common good. As for the trolls and harassers, please take responsibility of your shitty behavior.

P.S.: I’m going to contour the crap out of my face and wear short shorts during the rally on the 30th because I’m a concerned citizen who likes to dress good and look good for herself. Those things are not mutually exclusive. Bye!

Life Update #10001

(Will be quite rambly, since this is a another stream-of-consciousness post)

It’s been a while since I updated here. The last thing I posted was my review on some of the Glossier products that I bought earlier in the month. Since then, I haven’t really posted anything. I have been doing a lot of real-life things, such as applying for jobs (and other opportunities), improving my carbonara recipe, and getting some writing done, which is actually pretty good.

However, on the flip side, I’ve been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Actually, I’ve been dealing with these thoughts and feelings since the start of the year, but it’s only been recently where I have actively confronted them head-on. This big balloon of negativity has weighed me down for so long, and has created some perceptions that continue to destroy my self-confidence and belief in myself, as well as my relationships with other people. Much more so, having these negative thoughts and feelings have steered me to a direction where I have contemplated on decisions that will put my life in potential danger. It was only during a recent near-death experience where I realized how important life is, and that life is unpredictable. That experience taught me how to take care of myself, even if times are hard.

Speaking of self-care,  I have to learn how to manage my time and resources better. At the same time, I also need some structure in my life, like setting up a daily schedule for attending to writing assignments, as well as other tasks and commitments. I’ll also set up a bullet journal too, to help me with this journey to healing. It’s going to take some practice, but I will get there. Spiritually, I also have to learn how to forgive myself in terms of dealing with fuck-ups from the past. I have to come to terms with them, and not reject it like some toy with factory defects. Mistakes, failures, and rejections are part of life, and over time, I am slowly opening up to seeing them as lessons or opportunities for growth.

To anyone who’s reading this, I will get better. I will get through this, no matter how difficult.

 

 

 

Not Now

Hello, crippling self-doubt.

We meet again. Why do we always bump into each other often? Last week, I was at a high because I went to the Philippine Readers and Writers Festival, inspired and motivated to write better. Then here you are again, telling me that I can’t write, or that my writing is comparable to a grade school student.

Is it because my writing is still not there yet? Or am I just too scared to go for it? Write, submit, share your soul to the world—it’s easier said than done. I have skeletons in my closet that I am still afraid to show, and I am afraid that I will be subject to the scrutiny of others. Years of bullying have made me quite self-conscious about myself, and the work that I have put out. It’s as if I’ve let this experience consume me, to the extent that I have to be ashamed of my entire being and mold myself into someone that’s more desirable for others.

I guess it’s the same thing with my writing. I just want to be able to express myself and just write whatever my heart desires, but there are people out there who will mock me and tell me that I can’t do it. On the flip side, there are others who will say otherwise. There are others who will believe in my writing and motivate me to go for it. There are people who will tell you, “You need to straighten your hair for boys to like you,” and there are people who will tell you that they love you for who you are, flaws and all. It runs parallel with one another.

Because of you, crippling self-doubt, I am more motivated to shake off the weight of the past. My bullies from grade school until now do not matter to my growth anymore. I am more motivated to get back into writing more than ever, and you do not need to bother me every single day to remind me that I can’t do things, especially things that I am dedicated to. I will keep on writing, and I have to remind myself that I am strong, beautiful, and capable.

 

The Weekend

Another free-writing exercise. This time around, I will be talking about how my weekend went.

Saturday

Yesterday, I had lunch with my best friend Jow. Jow and I have known each other for sixteen years, but we’ve been best friends since we were in the fifth grade. We haven’t seen each other for months, and we really needed to decompress and see each other.

For our lunch date, we had lunch at Pancake House in Glorietta. Jow ordered the Grilled Cheese and Spaghetti combo, while I ordered Salisbury Steak. Too bad we didn’t take photos of the food, because we were really hungry at that time. Over lunch, we talked about work, writing, and life in general. We also tried catching Pokemon in between bites. After lunch, we decided to pass by Baskin & Robbins as an attempt to chill out and talk about more things again.

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Jow got Chocolate Chip, while I got Maui Brownie Madness. I usually get Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough whenever I drop by a Baskin & Robbins, but the Maui Brownie Madness is so delicious!  We also took turns in taking snaps and tried to catch for Pokemon again inside Glorietta.

After we had ice cream, we decided to head to Landmark. Jow wanted to buy the new Maybelline brow product that Liza Soberano is currently endorsing, and that said brow product is on sale. Unfortunately, it was out of stock at Landmark, so we passed by Greenbelt and checked out a couple of stores such as Muji and PCX. We dropped by PCX, and the brow product was out of stock there. We also tried some foundations and other beauty products at the store. At some point during our stop at Greenbelt, we also dropped by the Beauty Bar branch at Greenbelt 5. Going to Beauty Bar is equal parts hell and heaven, because the products that they have are so cool, yet we can barely afford them. Finally, we dropped by the Watsons at Greenbelt 1 and we finally found stocks of the Maybelline Fashion Brow Shaper Duo. Jow and I got one each after we tested them out. After deciding on getting it, Jow got a new face powder while I got some sanitary napkins. I know it’s TMI territory, but I get paranoid when I don’t have an adequate stock of period products.

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We needed to take a photo.

After we went shopping, we decided to roam around the Greenbelt area while waiting for Jow’s sundo. While roaming around, I asked her if I could charge my phone, since my phone was running out of battery. She agreed. We also stopped by Cafe Mary Grace, because she wanted to buy some treats for one of her aunt’s friends. Afterwards, we parted ways because Jow’s sundo already arrived. We parted ways, and then I realized that my phone was with her! Fortunately, my iPad was connected to the Ayala  Malls wi-fi, so I was able to message her. She then messaged me that she left my phone at her aunt’s office, so I just picked it up from there. We parted ways (again), and we promised that we will do something again next month. We’ll go to a board game cafe, perhaps? Or try a new restaurant? We’ll see.

I was on my own for the rest of the day, so I decided to do my usual routine whenever I go to the mall.  I window-shop, leech wi-fi, go around, eat, the works. I dropped by the Color in History exhibit at Ayala Museum, which was on free admission. While there, I saw one of the women that I looked up to back in high school.

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Meet Ms. Villegas! Ms. Villegas was my Literature teacher back in third year school, and she was one of the teachers I had in high school that I admired. She had an immense passion for writing and literature, which inspired me to read more and write. We talked about life in college and in high school, as well as some stuff about the exhibit. It was nice seeing her!

 

Some photos from the exhibit.

After I dropped by the exhibit, I did my usual routine. Along the way, I bought a notebook for my mental health journal from Papemelroti. I was also able to try out a bunch of makeup, but I recently promised myself to buy less makeup in the coming months. I was also able to catch a lot of Pokemon yesterday.

Sunday 

Sundays are usually chill days for me. I woke up at 6:45 am, which is something I consider early (I usually wake up at 8:30 now). I had pancakes for breakfast. Afterwards, I went back to my room to check stuff online. I ended up feeling ambivalent after, since I learned that President Duterte said something absolutely shitty. His charm is comparable to a cult leader, with his supporters blindly attacking those critical of his administration with rude comments. His comments have made my day a bit terrible, but thankfully there are some things to be happy about.

First, there’s the release of Frank Ocean’s second studio album, Blonde. I like Frank Ocean and his music, and his songs hit an emotional nerve for me (“Thinking About You” made me cry). Next, I finally got some alone time— well, sort of.

My brother asked me to buy something for her (He and her are my brother’s preferred pronouns) at SM Bicutan, so I obliged to her request. After I did it, I spent the afternoon at Bo’s Coffee to write in my journal and use the wi-fi. I was also craving for coffee, so I ended up ordering an iced latte with vanilla syrup.  In a previous post, I mentioned that I will try to stay away from coffee as much as I can, but  I realized that I still need coffee once in a while. Afterwards, I roamed around the mall, with Booksale as my last stop. The Booksale branch in SM Bicutan has a couple of rare finds; I was able to find some old issues of i-D, The Fader, and Wired there a couple of years back. I didn’t want to buy anything at first, but the preloved book section came calling. I ended up getting Steve Martin’s novella, Shopgirl! I have a lot of books on queue, but this book was one of the books that I’ve been meaning to read for quite a while now.

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After I went to SM, I went to Army Navy. I wanted to try Army Navy’s steak breakfast burrito, so I ordered one with some extra bacon. I really liked it, and sour cream gave the burrito an extra kick. It’s the perfect all-day breakfast meal, and I highly encourage meat lovers to try it!

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(P.S.: I am just going to eat bacon less. Maybe when I’m out of the house.)

Before I went home, I did some window shopping at a Korean general store in Better Living. I found some Face Shop products, as well as some Pepero variants that I have never heard of.

And oh, Jow and I decided to go to the Philippine Readers and Writers Festival this weekend. We’re usually not morning people on weekends, but we will go to two of the morning talks on Saturday because the topics are right up our alley.

This weekend was a good breather. Friends, food, and alone time? Yes, I know it’s a strange combination, but this is how I would want to spend my spare time. I have to read Shopgirl now, and probably try to sleep.